Monday, 26 May 2008
BFN!
Well, to cut a long story short - I'm not pregnant! I had utterly convinced myself, and was having all manner of pregnancy symptoms. Last Sunday/Monday I had some light spotting, and after trawling on the internet for ages came up with the idea that this must be an implantation bleed. I was working out when I'd start my maternity leave, and getting really carried away with things... so much so that I decided to test early on the Wednesday night - BFN. No matter which way I looked at it, the line in the window was a line and not a cross like I had last time with Elizabeth. I still didn't believe, and thought it might be a false negative, but the very next morning my period arrived. I still couldn't quite accept it, and thought it might be piles (!) but no. I'm not pregnant. I've been through every emotion, and am now charting my temperature on Fertility Friend to get a better indication of when I ovulate, despite husband saying that we should just carry on as normal and not worry too much. Hmm. Next 'window' is next weekend. We'll see how that goes.
Wednesday, 21 May 2008
Tension mounts...
Well - am I pregnant? After spending nearly two weeks convincing myself, as testing approaches I'm really not sure. My incessant symptom-spotting has revealed a 'queasy feeling' that I imagined was the precursor to morning sickness, frequent trips to the loo, hunger, and, er, thats it. On Sunday night I had some spotting, and immediately looked it up on the internet and decided that this must be an implantation bleed (albeit somewhat late, on 9dpo). This continued yesterday - nothing major, and definately not feeling like a period (no tetchiness, no cramps) but now I don't feel so pregnant. Is this natures way of preparing me for the disappointment? Or is this the reason why people say not to symptom spot? One of the women on Mumsnet who was pregnant now thinks she's having a miscarriage. It is awful - after the stress of trying to conceive, there is the feeling that it is all so tentative anyway. Even if you make it through the first trimester, who can say what will go wrong?
On the positive side I've been to the library this week, and got myself a bumper crop of new books to read. Tana Ramsay's family food - banana bread in the oven as I type. Some toddlery books, some birth books, a 'make' book (If I am pregnant I want to get knitting this time around!). On Monday I realised how boring I have become because I was so excited that it was a 'clean sheets' night, and that I had my new library books to tuck into!
I've got it in the diary to do a pregnancy test tomorrow, but I might hold off until Friday - get work out of the way, then do it at home with the weekend to look forward to. It won't make it any better if it is bad news, but I suppose I'd rather not have to go to work on Friday knowing bad news... I'm constantly going round in circles though, so I'll have probably changed my mind umpteen times by then. Arrrrghhhh!
On the positive side I've been to the library this week, and got myself a bumper crop of new books to read. Tana Ramsay's family food - banana bread in the oven as I type. Some toddlery books, some birth books, a 'make' book (If I am pregnant I want to get knitting this time around!). On Monday I realised how boring I have become because I was so excited that it was a 'clean sheets' night, and that I had my new library books to tuck into!
I've got it in the diary to do a pregnancy test tomorrow, but I might hold off until Friday - get work out of the way, then do it at home with the weekend to look forward to. It won't make it any better if it is bad news, but I suppose I'd rather not have to go to work on Friday knowing bad news... I'm constantly going round in circles though, so I'll have probably changed my mind umpteen times by then. Arrrrghhhh!
Monday, 12 May 2008
hot weather is here!
Well, its been really warm for about a week now. Elizabeth has stopped sleeping in her sleeping bag - just a sheet over her pyjamas at night as it has been around 25/26 degrees in her room. She has been out in the garden today, running around getting muddy and using the fork to 'dig' around the herb beds.
We officially started ttc last week - Wednesday 7th, Thursday 8th and Friday 9th. I think I was due to ovulate on Thursday, so who knows... I 'feel' different, could be pregnant. Feel like my bladder feels full all the time, feel a bit tired (more than usual) and a bit delicate (but that could just be me!!). Nobody has queried why I haven't been drinking - I think it is a bigger issue to the non-drinkee than to the rest of the world. We had my sister and her boyfriend around for a meal on Saturday night and they didn't notice that my 'wine' had bubbles in it.
Have had new found enthusiasm for getting the house straight - had the paintbrush out earlier and painted over all the marks in the hall from lugging the pram/cot/changing bag etc down the stairs. I then decided to paint over the wallpaper in the bathroom, just to see how it would look - so instead of being an awful turquoise shade it is now natural calico. With awful turquoise showing through. Made a rice pudding (because freezer might have defrosted yesterday owing to power-cut) and changed the duvet - Summer is officially here when the summer-weight duvet goes on! Nappies are all out on the line, the lawn is growing... am hungry - must go and get something to eat, Elizabeth is awake and we've got exercises to do!!
We officially started ttc last week - Wednesday 7th, Thursday 8th and Friday 9th. I think I was due to ovulate on Thursday, so who knows... I 'feel' different, could be pregnant. Feel like my bladder feels full all the time, feel a bit tired (more than usual) and a bit delicate (but that could just be me!!). Nobody has queried why I haven't been drinking - I think it is a bigger issue to the non-drinkee than to the rest of the world. We had my sister and her boyfriend around for a meal on Saturday night and they didn't notice that my 'wine' had bubbles in it.
Have had new found enthusiasm for getting the house straight - had the paintbrush out earlier and painted over all the marks in the hall from lugging the pram/cot/changing bag etc down the stairs. I then decided to paint over the wallpaper in the bathroom, just to see how it would look - so instead of being an awful turquoise shade it is now natural calico. With awful turquoise showing through. Made a rice pudding (because freezer might have defrosted yesterday owing to power-cut) and changed the duvet - Summer is officially here when the summer-weight duvet goes on! Nappies are all out on the line, the lawn is growing... am hungry - must go and get something to eat, Elizabeth is awake and we've got exercises to do!!
Wednesday, 7 May 2008
More?
Elizabeth has a new, very useful word - 'more'. She can say 'more' to food, suncream, blankets (believe it or not she likes to have two, even in the warm weather) and to dancing!
We've been away for Bank Holiday weekend, to a cottage in the Cotswolds. It was a bit of a new experience for us, as we've never travelled after Elizabeth's tea-time, but made the decision to get down there and start the bed-routine on arrival. We didn't know how it would pan out, but as it was she stayed awake after tea, was golden all the way - singing and looking at lorries, then went calmly to sleep with no bath after her story at about 9pm.
She coped remarkably well with changes to her routine over the weekend, and seemed to enjoy being outside in the garden, and having other people to play with. She fell over a few times, got muddy, played at the park, had lunch in a pub... all good!
At home our turf was finally laid on 19th April and it is growing well. It looks like a 'normal' garden at last, although Elizabeth hasn't played out on it yet - still watering and tending to it. I've been laid low with a cold/feeling rundown/exhaustion, and husband has had a cold too. Elizabeth had a runny nose for best part of a week, and had a few disturbed nights, but is back on form now.
Her routine now is awake any time from 6am, but happy to play in her cot until 7am. She breastfeeds at 7am, has her porridge and toast between 8am and 9am, having had a wash and got out of her pyjamas. She plays all morning, lunch at midday (to 1pm) then a two hour nap. Smoothie at 4pm, tea at 6pm, then bath, story, breastfeed and bed at around 7-7.30pm.
She can now say more, no, mum, dad, yes, bird, cat, poo, bye bye, baby, ... and can signal for aeroplane (in the sky), brum brum (car)... she can recognise upteem things - cars, whose drink is whose, whose shoes are whose, who she is, who Grandad/Nan/Uncle Mark etc are, she doesn't like dirt on the carpet, or hairs, or spiders... she likes to put her own trousers on, to wash her own face, to drink from her own cup (two-handed), to wear stickers (e.g. the vegetable weight stickers in Sainsburys), to wear name-ID badges, to wear a hat... she still loves dancing, and reading her books. She gives proper kisses, and every night on her way to bed she gives me a cuddle, patting my back with both hands. She still loves swimming - still going every Thursday, and group is still every Tuesday. She has 'special friends' - James at group and Rebecca at swimming. She kisses them goodbye, and nods that she wants to see them. She is walking well although still occasionally on tip-toes, and eating lots and lots (haven't had her weighed for ages now).
So - more? I'm officially on CD13 - due to ovulate tomorrow - so we're going to try again. I think the plan is tonight, tomorrow and the night after!!! Utterly terrified - firstly that I could become pregnant again quickly, like last time, and secondly all the what-ifs etc if I don't. Assuming I do become pregnant I'm not sure where to look first for my biggest challenge - the return of morning sickness, but with a toddler in tow? The return of SPD but with a toddler in tow? Trying to take it easy but with a toddler in tow? The prospect of labour and birth again? I've been reading up lots on natural birth and yoga etc, and am in two minds about whether to have a doula, whether to try hypnobirthing, whether to take up yoga (friend from group goes so might join her). Trying to stay positive, but then get very panicky. House needs lots doing to it, bedroom needs decorating for Elizabeth, plus I'm feeling the most 'normal' I've felt in a long time. The exercise is starting to pay off (although I've just had a week off) and am looking forward to a lovely Summer - I just hope that I can get pregnant and that it will be an easier pregnancy than last time! Watch this space - in two weeks time I will have my first answer!
We've been away for Bank Holiday weekend, to a cottage in the Cotswolds. It was a bit of a new experience for us, as we've never travelled after Elizabeth's tea-time, but made the decision to get down there and start the bed-routine on arrival. We didn't know how it would pan out, but as it was she stayed awake after tea, was golden all the way - singing and looking at lorries, then went calmly to sleep with no bath after her story at about 9pm.
She coped remarkably well with changes to her routine over the weekend, and seemed to enjoy being outside in the garden, and having other people to play with. She fell over a few times, got muddy, played at the park, had lunch in a pub... all good!
At home our turf was finally laid on 19th April and it is growing well. It looks like a 'normal' garden at last, although Elizabeth hasn't played out on it yet - still watering and tending to it. I've been laid low with a cold/feeling rundown/exhaustion, and husband has had a cold too. Elizabeth had a runny nose for best part of a week, and had a few disturbed nights, but is back on form now.
Her routine now is awake any time from 6am, but happy to play in her cot until 7am. She breastfeeds at 7am, has her porridge and toast between 8am and 9am, having had a wash and got out of her pyjamas. She plays all morning, lunch at midday (to 1pm) then a two hour nap. Smoothie at 4pm, tea at 6pm, then bath, story, breastfeed and bed at around 7-7.30pm.
She can now say more, no, mum, dad, yes, bird, cat, poo, bye bye, baby, ... and can signal for aeroplane (in the sky), brum brum (car)... she can recognise upteem things - cars, whose drink is whose, whose shoes are whose, who she is, who Grandad/Nan/Uncle Mark etc are, she doesn't like dirt on the carpet, or hairs, or spiders... she likes to put her own trousers on, to wash her own face, to drink from her own cup (two-handed), to wear stickers (e.g. the vegetable weight stickers in Sainsburys), to wear name-ID badges, to wear a hat... she still loves dancing, and reading her books. She gives proper kisses, and every night on her way to bed she gives me a cuddle, patting my back with both hands. She still loves swimming - still going every Thursday, and group is still every Tuesday. She has 'special friends' - James at group and Rebecca at swimming. She kisses them goodbye, and nods that she wants to see them. She is walking well although still occasionally on tip-toes, and eating lots and lots (haven't had her weighed for ages now).
So - more? I'm officially on CD13 - due to ovulate tomorrow - so we're going to try again. I think the plan is tonight, tomorrow and the night after!!! Utterly terrified - firstly that I could become pregnant again quickly, like last time, and secondly all the what-ifs etc if I don't. Assuming I do become pregnant I'm not sure where to look first for my biggest challenge - the return of morning sickness, but with a toddler in tow? The return of SPD but with a toddler in tow? Trying to take it easy but with a toddler in tow? The prospect of labour and birth again? I've been reading up lots on natural birth and yoga etc, and am in two minds about whether to have a doula, whether to try hypnobirthing, whether to take up yoga (friend from group goes so might join her). Trying to stay positive, but then get very panicky. House needs lots doing to it, bedroom needs decorating for Elizabeth, plus I'm feeling the most 'normal' I've felt in a long time. The exercise is starting to pay off (although I've just had a week off) and am looking forward to a lovely Summer - I just hope that I can get pregnant and that it will be an easier pregnancy than last time! Watch this space - in two weeks time I will have my first answer!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)