What a weekend that was - itching reached new heights (I plumbed new depths...). Although the cream and bath soak seem to soothe my skin somewhat, there is no relief to the itching. On Saturday night instead of having my customary hour and a half of sleep after getting to bed I was scratching like a mad thing from the off, and ended up going almost an entire night with no sleep, sobbing hysterically to the point I was nearly sick. Never felt so lonely - just wandering from room to room in the dark saying "Please help me!" and scratching my skin to ribbons. I felt like I wasn't human on Sunday. Husband looked after Elizabeth and I dozed in the morning, and they went out for a walk later on. I tentatively put on some clothes and wandered around like a lost sheep feeling weak and not really connected to the world...
Yesterday was better - I had a more positive attitude before I went to bed, and although the itching cropped up time and again I didn't cry, and did my best to stay calm. At 5am I put some of the bath soak on with a flannel, then went back to bed and did get some sleep. Husband got Elizabeth up and got her washed and dressed, so by the time I joined them at the breakfast table I at least felt human. The day progressed well - Hannah came over and we had lunch and chatted. No itching at all, but it started soon after and continued all evening and past bedtime. Although I was calm last night the itching was unrelenting, and the sheets were covered in blood this morning. Elizabeth woke up and started demanding me at 6.30am, at which point I was just a crying sobbing mess. I had a shower, applied the steroid cream, made my way through the morning routine on autopilot, then lay down on the bed at 9.30am and dozed for an hour while Elizabeth brought toys in and read husband's skateboarding magazine. We pushed on and went out to group - felt better in some ways that there were some people to listen to me - but no helpful suggestions as to what I should do.
On the positive side Elizabeth broke through the baricade and made her way into the baby corner to sit watching baby Chloe adoringly, and drew lots of comments about the way she was carefully cuddling a doll and looking at the babies. She also got quite upset because she wanted to take the doll - overtired or possibly coming down with the same cold I have now succumbed to so lunchtime preparations were fraught to say the least.
The Sainsbury's delivery has just arrived at 3 o'clock is approaching so I've got to go and make the pre-yoga casserole. Don't feel too tired now, but how I'm surviving is beyond me. I rang Personnel at work this morning with a very angry message for the woman who still hasn't confirmed when my maternity leave will start, or that she has received my MatB1 certificate. Got a cold, got severe heartburn, necking Gaviscon at every opportunity - I HATE BEING PREGNANT!!!
This is an historic day. Barack Obama is being sworn in as the first Black American president later this afternoon, so I'll go chop some veg and listen to the FiveLive coverage...
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