Last weekend was grim as well... Husband came home from work feeling dodgy, and spent all of Saturday in bed, then was very slow going on Sunday, tentatively recovering from the stomach bug we've all been afflicted with, so any hope I had of having a nice relaxing 'back to normal' weekend went out of the window.
Edward had his 6 week check on Monday, and weighed in at 14lb 14oz. The doctor wasn't concerned at all about reflux, although I've been reading up a lot about it and am still panicking. Sometimes he seems ok, but other times it feels like I'm living through a nightmare. I'm stressed when I feed him, and when he brings back a whole feed it is really stressful/upsetting as well as messy and difficult to manage. I'm trying to hold him upright more, and he's been in the sling more this week, and today seems to be a better day. Trying not to over-feed him, i.e. if its only been an hour since the last feed I try to occupy him in other ways, but when he starts his little high-pitched screaming it really is hard!
Elizabeth's behaviour hit new lows this week with monster tantrums around bathtime because she wanted me to do her bath. She's been lashing out and kicking, refusing to do things - her favourite lines at the moment are:
"No"
"I don't want to"
"Elizabeth wants..."
Very infuriating! I'm sure shes covered in bruises too. I lost it big time with her earlier in the week, when we were trying to get out to the doctors. Really shouted at her. She wouldn't put her socks on and kept pulling them off as fast as I could get them on. Feeling totally out of control and really really angry prompted me to read up a load more about terrible two toddler tantrums, and attempt a new 'understanding' and 'letting things go' way forward, but not sure I've achieved it yet. Dealing with her infuriating behaviour and his reflux are doing me in!
I sorted out most of the clothes yesterday ready for husband to store in the loft. His baby gros, the girl clothes we got down before Edward was born, neutral baby stuff and my maternity clothes, plus a load of her current clothes and sleeping bags all to go up. Won't be sorry to see the back of the maternity clothes. I remember putting it up last time thinking 'Will I ever be pregnant again?' and it seeming a long way off. It doesn't feel quite such a remote possibility now, but dealing with the terrible twos does seem a terrifying prospect.
Was looking forward to (how my life has changed...) a trip to Sainsburys this morning to get some much-needed provisions and some clothes for Elizabeth. Struggled from 6am to get them both, and me, ready to go. Finally had him in his seat wailing away, and her buckled in, turned the key in the ignition and nothing!!!! Sat in disbelief repeating the action again and again, consulted the manual, went mad, texted husband to say "Fucking car not working have seriously had enough", rang Sunwin to see if there was anything they could do as it is under warranty (no) and rang Delamere (£55 call out fee). Felt I was losing the plot. Then Dad came, rang his mate who arrived 20 minutes later with a charger pack, re-charged the battery, then Dad drove it back to the garage where a new battery was duly fitted. Miracle! So glad we don't have to spend half the weekend chasing around trying to diagnose the car then get it fixed.
And so I face another weekend. We've been paid, and I've been paid the most I've ever been paid (I think that must be a fluke of SMP and the number of weeks in the month). Husband has had a pay rise so next month we should be a further £150 better off we think. I've made a spreadsheet to get our time in the run up to the holiday organised - fitting in dentist, hairdresser, car MOT etc. I contacted St Andrews with a view to getting Edward christened but don't think it will be possible until about August/September... unless we do it the weekend we get back from our holiday. Anyway - looking forward to husband getting home early, having a nice ready meal and getting to sleep in our freshly laundered bed!
Friday, 24 April 2009
Friday, 17 April 2009
7 weeks
He's 7 weeks old today, and I haven't been able to get him weighed as we were all struck with illness on clinic day. He still seems to be putting on weight, and was doing much better in terms of his reflux the last few days. Had a bad morning this morning though, being sick several times quite a lot. He's sleeping it off now though.
Elizabeth, magically, seems a lot better today. She slept most of yesterday and was her most lethargic yet, and barely ate a thing, despite me cooking muffins in front of her eyes to try and tempt her (sod reinforcing picky eating, am doing whatever it takes to get through this!).
Today she had half a bowl of porridge and a banana for breakfast, and although she started slowly at lunch-time with yoghurt and apple to dip into it, she then asked for cheese on toast, went back and finished the apple, then had a muffin, then finished the yoghurt. I also managed to coax some weak Ribena into her by 'hiding' it in her monkey cup. (Here the decision to give her water alone to drink comes back to bite me as she has refused to drink the Ribena or Lucozade that the doctor suggested might help her!). She's reluctantly gone down for a nap now, and I'm sitting here with the nappies whirling around in the machine, and husband asleep in the bedroom in the early stages of this stomach bug. He's off work, and has been feeling 'off' all day, but no symptoms at present.
Grandad is still in hospital. He's been falling badly and was admitted at the beginning of the Easter holidays, and there have been meetings about what to do with him, but everything is still up in the air. One thing is for sure, Nan can't cope with him at home. Am off to get myself a drink - one exhausted Mum signing off at the end of a very trying period.
Elizabeth, magically, seems a lot better today. She slept most of yesterday and was her most lethargic yet, and barely ate a thing, despite me cooking muffins in front of her eyes to try and tempt her (sod reinforcing picky eating, am doing whatever it takes to get through this!).
Today she had half a bowl of porridge and a banana for breakfast, and although she started slowly at lunch-time with yoghurt and apple to dip into it, she then asked for cheese on toast, went back and finished the apple, then had a muffin, then finished the yoghurt. I also managed to coax some weak Ribena into her by 'hiding' it in her monkey cup. (Here the decision to give her water alone to drink comes back to bite me as she has refused to drink the Ribena or Lucozade that the doctor suggested might help her!). She's reluctantly gone down for a nap now, and I'm sitting here with the nappies whirling around in the machine, and husband asleep in the bedroom in the early stages of this stomach bug. He's off work, and has been feeling 'off' all day, but no symptoms at present.
Grandad is still in hospital. He's been falling badly and was admitted at the beginning of the Easter holidays, and there have been meetings about what to do with him, but everything is still up in the air. One thing is for sure, Nan can't cope with him at home. Am off to get myself a drink - one exhausted Mum signing off at the end of a very trying period.
Tuesday, 14 April 2009
Easter Bank Holiday...
Oh My God! What a weekend! Elizabeth's diarrhoea continued until Saturday, with explosive vile nappies that leaked onto the wraps, necessitating much washing, and I have learned my lesson and will order a fourth Motherease Wrap from the Nappy Lady as soon as possible in case this situation arises again! I feel like I haven't stopped washing at all!
On Friday we went to the Town Centre and did some shopping - little t-shirt as a present for our God-daughter's sister, a couple of tops for me from H&M, some vital supplies from Boots and a look for clothes for Elizabeth. We had decided to go to a cafe as a treat for Elizabeth, so at around 12 went to M&S cafe... What a disappointment. Firstly it cost us over £17 for a sandwich each and a tea cake for Elizabeth. Secondly she hardly ate a thing, she seems to have completely lost her appetite. Thirdly Edward didn't wake up so I couldn't feed him, so when we eventually gave it up as a bad job I had to feed Edward in the baby change room after we'd done Elizabeth's nappy. Then someone tried the door, and husband ushered us out in a hurry, so I was panicking that he hadn't fed enough.
Saturday - garden centre. We made good time in terms of getting out of the house, but I felt shattered, and emotionally drained - crying and feeling really bleak... where's the enjoyment? Is this all there is to life? Etc. etc. We chose some herbs and God must have been smiling on us because the assistant gave us a tray of herbs for free. Dashed home, had lunch, husband out in the garden planting what we'd bought, I planted some of the little ones too... Then that evening packed the children off to bed and had a chinese takeaway, then started feeling really rough. Knew things were not right, and sure enough at about 2am was sick. urrrgh!!
Felt like death the next day, Easter Sunday, but hauled myself out of bed for Elizabeth's Easter Egg hunt. It was really sweet actually, given that she's not having chocolate (still!). Husband had hidden four plastic Easter Eggs in the garden with four little surprises inside - a bouncing ball, a plastic dog, a box of raisins and a wind up caterpillar. She retrieved them all, and seemed to quite enjoy it. They spent the morning relaxing while I tried to get stuff together to go to the in-laws for Easter lunch, gathering changes of clothes for Elizabeth and Edward as her nappies were still leaking. I was so slow it was unreal, as I felt so awful.
Within minutes of arriving at the in-laws Edward was ready to fed, fed, then projectile vomitted all over me, then again all over husband and the kitchen floor. My top and jeans now both soaked. Tried to mop down, then he fed again and his nappy just exploded, again all over me, and all over the outfit we'd just changed him into, post-vomit. Felt so exhausted by it all, and stressed out at not being able to monitor what Elizabeth was doing in the garden/kitchen etc while I was stranded in the armchair feeding Edward. Husband disappeared off upstairs to load things onto the computer, and in the end I had to go up and say we were going. She had missed her nap completely and had to wait an inordinate amount of time at the formal table for her pudding during the meal. She went into meltdown when we got back, and I had to struggle to get her ready for bed.
By Easter Monday my stomach was in turmoil having had diaharroea that night, so spent much of the day in bed, shattered. Obviously still feeding Edward though.
Husband went back to work, and Elizabeth got more and more lethargic as the week went on. On Wednesday she sat on my knee and listened to the Hillsborough memorial service on the radio most of the afternoon, and could barely mutter a word. She seemed so 'out of it' and when my parents came around that afternoon they said to take her to the doctors. Miraculously I got an appointment there and then, and carried her in convinced she was near comatose. He said she had a slight temperature and was just getting over the bug, she was fine! Off she went to bed, and I had another night of horrendous diahorrea.
By the end of my illness (Saturday - Thursday) I was beginning to feel that life would never get back to normal again. The enormity of having two children and being unable to tear myself in two has hit home. Being ill and breastfeeding has also been so thoroughly exhausting. There is no time off as a parent! I never want to go through another two weeks' like the last two weeks. Ever. Ever!
On Friday we went to the Town Centre and did some shopping - little t-shirt as a present for our God-daughter's sister, a couple of tops for me from H&M, some vital supplies from Boots and a look for clothes for Elizabeth. We had decided to go to a cafe as a treat for Elizabeth, so at around 12 went to M&S cafe... What a disappointment. Firstly it cost us over £17 for a sandwich each and a tea cake for Elizabeth. Secondly she hardly ate a thing, she seems to have completely lost her appetite. Thirdly Edward didn't wake up so I couldn't feed him, so when we eventually gave it up as a bad job I had to feed Edward in the baby change room after we'd done Elizabeth's nappy. Then someone tried the door, and husband ushered us out in a hurry, so I was panicking that he hadn't fed enough.
Saturday - garden centre. We made good time in terms of getting out of the house, but I felt shattered, and emotionally drained - crying and feeling really bleak... where's the enjoyment? Is this all there is to life? Etc. etc. We chose some herbs and God must have been smiling on us because the assistant gave us a tray of herbs for free. Dashed home, had lunch, husband out in the garden planting what we'd bought, I planted some of the little ones too... Then that evening packed the children off to bed and had a chinese takeaway, then started feeling really rough. Knew things were not right, and sure enough at about 2am was sick. urrrgh!!
Felt like death the next day, Easter Sunday, but hauled myself out of bed for Elizabeth's Easter Egg hunt. It was really sweet actually, given that she's not having chocolate (still!). Husband had hidden four plastic Easter Eggs in the garden with four little surprises inside - a bouncing ball, a plastic dog, a box of raisins and a wind up caterpillar. She retrieved them all, and seemed to quite enjoy it. They spent the morning relaxing while I tried to get stuff together to go to the in-laws for Easter lunch, gathering changes of clothes for Elizabeth and Edward as her nappies were still leaking. I was so slow it was unreal, as I felt so awful.
Within minutes of arriving at the in-laws Edward was ready to fed, fed, then projectile vomitted all over me, then again all over husband and the kitchen floor. My top and jeans now both soaked. Tried to mop down, then he fed again and his nappy just exploded, again all over me, and all over the outfit we'd just changed him into, post-vomit. Felt so exhausted by it all, and stressed out at not being able to monitor what Elizabeth was doing in the garden/kitchen etc while I was stranded in the armchair feeding Edward. Husband disappeared off upstairs to load things onto the computer, and in the end I had to go up and say we were going. She had missed her nap completely and had to wait an inordinate amount of time at the formal table for her pudding during the meal. She went into meltdown when we got back, and I had to struggle to get her ready for bed.
By Easter Monday my stomach was in turmoil having had diaharroea that night, so spent much of the day in bed, shattered. Obviously still feeding Edward though.
Husband went back to work, and Elizabeth got more and more lethargic as the week went on. On Wednesday she sat on my knee and listened to the Hillsborough memorial service on the radio most of the afternoon, and could barely mutter a word. She seemed so 'out of it' and when my parents came around that afternoon they said to take her to the doctors. Miraculously I got an appointment there and then, and carried her in convinced she was near comatose. He said she had a slight temperature and was just getting over the bug, she was fine! Off she went to bed, and I had another night of horrendous diahorrea.
By the end of my illness (Saturday - Thursday) I was beginning to feel that life would never get back to normal again. The enormity of having two children and being unable to tear myself in two has hit home. Being ill and breastfeeding has also been so thoroughly exhausting. There is no time off as a parent! I never want to go through another two weeks' like the last two weeks. Ever. Ever!
Wednesday, 8 April 2009
Nearly six weeks...
A rollercoaster weekend, followed by a nightmarish couple of days... Sometimes things need to get a whole lot worse before you realise that maybe they weren't so bad before! After our day in hospital last week I was hugely worried - stressed - anxious - reading everything I could lay my hands on on the internet about pyloric stenosis, and completely unable to deal with the fact that there was nothing I could do apart from sit and wait. I was utterly convinced that despite his weight gain and seeming good health, he was experiencing the early stages of the disorder and the thought of what lay ahead was horrific. I think I worried myself into a frenzy, and by the end of the weekend was in quite a state and utterly exhausted. Then I reasoned with myself that maybe my perception of 'projectile' wasn't quite the same as the medical definition. I read something that said a baby can bring back a feed quite forcefully and if he's over your shoulder it can travel quite a distance. That made sense. Perhaps he is over-eating? That coupled with the reflex... he'd been a lot better, and the propping his cot and changing mat seemed to have helped. So I finally calmed down a bit.
Went to the health visitor on Monday and had him weighed. He was 3 oz heavier than he had been on Thursday, so above the 98th centile. She reassured me a bit about reflux/colic. Just bear with it, it will get better seemed to be the advice. So reassured on the pyloric stenosis front I then went into over-drive worried about why he wakes every morning at around 5am, is sick, and there is foul-smelling mucous in evidence. Convinced he had some infection perhaps related to the Group B Strep. or perhaps just something different I made another GP appointment and was reassured on that front yesterday. No infection as no temperature or signs of illness e.g. lack of wet or dirty nappies, reluctance to feed etc. He's fine.
He was, but on Monday afternoon as I got back from the Health Visitor Elizabeth wasn't. She woke up from her afternoon nap screaming, Dad went up to see to her as I had Edward. He called down "She's been sick" and the sight as I dashed up there was not pleasant. I tried to mop her down, and put the bedding straight into the wash. She sat and had a smoothie, then I took her upstairs and wrapped her in a blanket as she was shaking. She sat on the nursery chair and I read to her, then the next thing I knew the smoothie was being projectile vomited back at me. More washing into the wash... We both had to strip off. As husband arrived the remnants of the smoothie were making an appearance, and thankfully Edward stayed asleep.
She had a bath, then drank some water (in hindsight too much too quickly) then went to bed only to throw up all over the bed (again!) a few minutes later. Bed stripped, her stripped down to her vest she finally went to bed at around 8pm, with husband stroking her back, her head clamped in a bowl.
Although writing it now it doesn't sound so bad, at the time it was quite frightening. She hasn't been sick since she was 7 months old, so a completely different ball game then. I've since looked up what to do (and what not to do) and hopefully should that nightmare re-occur at least it won't be as frightening. We coped yesterday by tentatively giving her toast, then hot cross buns, apple and banana, then by tea-time she was back on normal food.
Went to the health visitor on Monday and had him weighed. He was 3 oz heavier than he had been on Thursday, so above the 98th centile. She reassured me a bit about reflux/colic. Just bear with it, it will get better seemed to be the advice. So reassured on the pyloric stenosis front I then went into over-drive worried about why he wakes every morning at around 5am, is sick, and there is foul-smelling mucous in evidence. Convinced he had some infection perhaps related to the Group B Strep. or perhaps just something different I made another GP appointment and was reassured on that front yesterday. No infection as no temperature or signs of illness e.g. lack of wet or dirty nappies, reluctance to feed etc. He's fine.
He was, but on Monday afternoon as I got back from the Health Visitor Elizabeth wasn't. She woke up from her afternoon nap screaming, Dad went up to see to her as I had Edward. He called down "She's been sick" and the sight as I dashed up there was not pleasant. I tried to mop her down, and put the bedding straight into the wash. She sat and had a smoothie, then I took her upstairs and wrapped her in a blanket as she was shaking. She sat on the nursery chair and I read to her, then the next thing I knew the smoothie was being projectile vomited back at me. More washing into the wash... We both had to strip off. As husband arrived the remnants of the smoothie were making an appearance, and thankfully Edward stayed asleep.
She had a bath, then drank some water (in hindsight too much too quickly) then went to bed only to throw up all over the bed (again!) a few minutes later. Bed stripped, her stripped down to her vest she finally went to bed at around 8pm, with husband stroking her back, her head clamped in a bowl.
Although writing it now it doesn't sound so bad, at the time it was quite frightening. She hasn't been sick since she was 7 months old, so a completely different ball game then. I've since looked up what to do (and what not to do) and hopefully should that nightmare re-occur at least it won't be as frightening. We coped yesterday by tentatively giving her toast, then hot cross buns, apple and banana, then by tea-time she was back on normal food.
Friday, 3 April 2009
pyloric stenosis... or mild reflux....???
Dramatic day yesterday. After a trying few days where Edward has been sick lots, and occasionally projectile, I made an appointment to see the GP. After an initial mix-up (should have gone to the other surgery, apparently) he was examined, and I was told to take him to the paediatric assessment bay at the hospital. We went swiftly there, having stopped to gather the changing bag, a drink for Elizabeth and I, a biscuit for us both, and Edward's red book. We waited over two hours with Elizabeth 'playing' with the toys but gradually going up the walls, then eventually an SHO examined him and said he was a healthy baby. He was weighed - 13lb 6oz, so they thought they could rule out pyloric stenosis. I came home reassured, and we put Elizabeth to bed early after a stressful day and no lunch. Husband went off to the supermarket to collect supplies that I'd intended to get earlier, and I phoned home to update them. This was when my Mum announced that she'd had pyloric stenosis, and her brother (significantly, as it is more common in males) too. He was the same weight as Edward, which made me think if they're going by weight alone, perhaps they've been mistaken. Cue fact-finding about this disorder which apparently requires minor surgery to correct.
Today has been better. I'm treating him as if he's got reflux, so his cot is raised, and I'm holding him upright after feeds and have knocked feeding lying down on the head. So far so good. He has still been sick but not as much. He does seem to be in pain after the feed, which again suggests reflux. We'll see. Very worried. Very tired from worrying!
A quiet week all in all. I went to the chiropractor and she was very pleased to report that my pelvis had come through the birth intact. She did some work on my upper back which is incredibly painful at the moment (probably poor posture while breastfeeding). Encouraged that I managed with both of them with me.
No progress booking holiday, but husband has booked his annual leave so we can try to sort it out this weekend with a bit of luck.
Today has been better. I'm treating him as if he's got reflux, so his cot is raised, and I'm holding him upright after feeds and have knocked feeding lying down on the head. So far so good. He has still been sick but not as much. He does seem to be in pain after the feed, which again suggests reflux. We'll see. Very worried. Very tired from worrying!
A quiet week all in all. I went to the chiropractor and she was very pleased to report that my pelvis had come through the birth intact. She did some work on my upper back which is incredibly painful at the moment (probably poor posture while breastfeeding). Encouraged that I managed with both of them with me.
No progress booking holiday, but husband has booked his annual leave so we can try to sort it out this weekend with a bit of luck.
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