We're here at last, nearly six months down the line, and on Thursday Edward will be starting on solid food!!! I had him weighed this week and at 24 weeks he was 9.52 k.g. or in real money 20lb 15oz, just slightly down onto the 98th percentile, after being above it for the last few months. Am quite excited about embarking on the BLW journey, and keep umming and ahhing about how seriously to stick to the tenets - will I give no purees, or some purees and mostly chopped up bits of veg... time will tell. Have still got to look up a few more bits and pieces in Kate's book, but really we're set to go!
It has been a hard, hard week. Emotionally I've been very down, ground down by Elizabeth's at times intolerable behaviour. In the middle of the week I was fed up of hearing myself moaning about how hard it is, how tired I am, how impossible I find things... Husband told me perhaps I was in danger of making myself negative by thinking negatively, so have tried my utmost since then to think positive. I started a Mumsnet thread asking for people in a similar boat with a baby and a toddler to join up to support each other, as that really helped last time I was in crisis when Elizabeth wasn't sleeping through. I've also been out - out with the Mummies last week, and out with Theresa from Group this week who confided that despite outward appearances, she too finds it impossibly hard at times! Was quite surprised, as you only really see the surface-level details when spending an hour or so with people, so it really was unexpected.
I've ordered a new parenting book from Amazon which I'm hoping will inject some fun back into our daily grind (or sorry, life). Things have been a little easier with Elizabeth the last couple of days - she has had lots more conversations with me - about her pretend Mummy and Daddy, and lots of "Why does that do that?" type questions. She dropped her afternoon nap earlier in the week, so although I lost any possibility of 'me time', it also took some of the pressure off the 'morning session' so now we can have lunch then go out into Shifnal, or off to Sainsburys or whatever as Edward will sleep in the car or in his buggy. She's been settling much quicker at night-time now, so she obviously needed to drop the nap. Toilet training still going well, so much so that I'd say we've cracked it. I tend to make her sit on the toilet every once in a while rather than her actually telling me she needs to go, out of my neurotic fear that she won't, so I guess that will be the next step. Edward's sleeping has been a nightmare though. Last night, for example, he woke up at 11pm, then 2am then 5.50am and stayed awake then until finally dropping off at around 9.40am... Am exhausted!!! His reflux is no better. No better at all. Since the projectile vomitting subsided he's just remained the same - sick when put in car seat, when laid on floor, when sitting up on your knee, when over your shoulder... he does it less in his cot, but there are still days when I have to change the sheets three times!!! His night-time nappy leaks when he is feeding twice or more at night, so he wakes at 5am sopping wet from his sleepsuit through his sleeping bag and all over the sheets! Must ask my NappyLady advisor if she can recommend anything about that!
We've determined that we're going to try to pay off as much as we can of our mortgage... Spent some time this week researching affiliate marketing and husband has got a £30 voucher to use with Adwords, so we've got an advert and when you search for satellite tv on Google our ad comes up. It has had about 103 clicks now, but nobody seems to be buying Sky through us. I'm going to try to do a baby blog and link to e.g. Mothercare etc, and am also going to explore personal tuition and e.g. CV help and UCAS application help, and see if that gets me anywhere. We're going to take every bit of extra cash and pay it off the mortgage... It has been so disheartening to see houses on the market that we just can't afford, and realistically won't be able to with my salary as it is.
Thoughts have turned more than once to having another baby. My weight is back under 11stone for the first time in ages, and I was planning to start aqua aerobics this week (got there, but the instructor was off sick, so will try again next week, am going to go twice a week). So, am feeling in better shape, and am wondering whether we could manage to have another baby next September?!! Am I mad?!! Part of me thinks we should leave it longer as we're barely coping as it is, but another part of me thinks unless we get on with things, we won't be able to fulfill our dream of having four children, as the gaps will be too long, and I'll be too old... and then we'll have teenage children and babies, and it won't work!!! It is a frightening propositition - the idea that Edward could turn out to be as difficult as Elizabeth was, and I'll then have three of them at home to manage... but we'll wait and see until around Christmas time!
We've had a busy few weekends with a reunion of my Leicester University friends following on from Edward's christening, and although we're in a mini-lull at the moment, next week is husband's birthday bbq, then we've got a birthday party, and a christening down South for which I've had to buy.... disposable nappies!!! We're going to stay in a Travelodge so disposable nappies r us, and cost bloody £9 for two packs, couldn't believe it!!
So - here I stand at the 6 month point, half-way through my maternity leave give or take, feeling like I've got much less time left, wondering where on earth the time has disappeared to... Why am I so tired?? Will life ever return to normal again!!??
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