39 weeks...

Officially 39 weeks today, and my God have I had enough of being pregnant! Actually I've been feeling physically a lot better than I have been - pelvis/hips etc not too bad, sleeping marginally better, feeling bit lessed stressed, bit less tired. But am also reaching the anxiety bit where it is hard to deal with the fact that I could go into labour at any given moment, and it could happen quickly or slowly, all kinds of things could happen... I've got my bags mostly packed (wrapped the children's presents last night, Elizabeth is getting little penguins and meerkats, Edward is getting a soft toy dog), and they've both decorated labels for their presents, Edward has bought a dog and Elizabeth has bought a mouse for the baby. I've ruled the lines in my new feeding book, packed food and drinks, set up the TENS machine with new batteries and sensor pads, packed all the essential oils, and pairs of pants and feeding bras. Got breast pads, mat. pads and my Lansinoh (half price from Sainsburys). Just can't get my head around packing clothes yet, but need to! All my clothes are currently in Edward's room, so it won't be practical if I have to leave after he's gone to bed, so perhaps I'll work on that tonight! I swing between feeling positive and optimistic about the birth to being full of dread. It hurt an unbelievable amount last time, and the knowledge that I have to go through that again... and that circumstances might be against me... well, its pretty scary!

Have had a reasonable week though. Have made a dent on the Christmas shopping with some online purchases from Debenhams online. Bought Rebecca's birthday present for next week. Got the last couple of bits and pieces for the hospital bag. Just been to Wightwick Manor with my Dad this morning for them to run around for a bit... seemed to go ok. Mum and Dad are coming to watch the bathtime routine tomorrow so we'll see how that goes. Husband still planning on doing his half-marathon on Sunday, so will see how the weekend pans out. Have been feeling a bit crampy and achey and yakky since I saw the midwife on Wednesday. Thought I had a contraction yesterday, but no... Just really hurting when the baby moves, which it does quite frequently. Feel as though I've got something very sharp like a foot or something pressing on my bladder which is very uncomfortable. Feel tired, and feel quite emotional.

Edward is saying so much now I can't even keep track. Words from today include 'damp', 'church', 'ready', 'walk', 'car', 'fruit bat', 'toast', 'no', 'kiss', 'Nanny'... He is disinclined to do more things now that he can say 'no' so isn't quite as huggy and kissy as he was before. Her behaviour switches from being a total nightmare, insistent on doing the opposite to what you've asked her to do, screaming, snatching toys from Edward, being absolutely emotionally draining you name it... to being lovely and kind, fetching me ice packs, wanting to kiss the baby, telling me not to bend down, helping with Edward. We're persisting with the star chart for 'doing what she's asked to do first time' and she gets a couple of stars a day, but more often than not I'm ranting on asking her 6 or 7 times.

Edward is now waking up between 6 and 7am, and is happy to babble in his cot until 7am. He reads books and is quite patient, and much more patient around breakfast time. He likes to climb into his highchair and attempt to get through the hatch into the kitchen, so I've already had to move the fruitbowl out of his way. He has his lunch and 'fruit bat' at about 12.30, and goes down to sleep at about 1.30 for 2 hours or thereabouts. Still settles in the evening at around 7pm, sometimes with a breastfeed, sometimes without. Have bought the tandem feeding book from Amazon, and am just going to go with the flow. Roll on the weekend