Still hasn't sunk in

I rang the doctors surgery this morning, and went in later on to leave a urine sample, which will be tested and the results should be available by 10am on Thursday. This should confirm things for me (although didn't have to do this last time, so all a bit strange). I still don't feel sick, but do feel very tired. The last couple of days I've had to lie down in the afternoon. The rest of the time I just don't think about it though. Life carries on, and there isn't time to wonder.

I have been reading my way through several 'natural birth' books from the library, and am as determined as I can be that things are going to be different this time. I was talking to husband on Saturday about the fact that I don't want to be examined in hospital. I remember last time having to get on the hospital bed which was painful enough, then the actual examination was very uncomfortable, and the depressing news of (lack of) dilation was just not what I wanted to hear. So assuming all is well, I want to avoid it for as long as possible.

I definately want to hire a doula - have had a couple of emails back from some enquiries I made weeks ago, so as the weeks progress I will get around to thinking about that.

Raj's christening on Sunday, and an opportunity to meet up with old uni friends, all of whom have babies now! Must remember to take camera!

Elizabeth has become a bit more 'challenging' once again - is this the start of the terrible two's? I've been losing my temper more and more, which I feel terrible about. This morning I was particularly angry that I couldn't get her jeans on, then she spilled water from the top and tail bowl all over the floor, so I had to put her in her cot and go and stand outside of her bedroom taking a few deep breaths. The thing is, she is so wilful and strong - and distraction only works a limited number of times. I really don't want to be a shouty Mum - so will have to try really hard to curb that.

I'm pregnant!

After three weeks of 'temping' and religiously following my chart on Fertility Friend, I can report that I did a pregnancy test on Saturday, and it was positive. My initial plan was to keep it secret, then tell husband on Sunday (Father's Day) but I couldn't wait longer than the hour. It hasn't sunk in. It doesn't seem real at all. Baby is due around 21 February.

I feel really ill - have been 'off' all weekend, tired, no appetite, feeling queasy. I don't think it is pregnancy-related because I think it is far too early to have proper symptoms. More likely I think I have some kind of bug, but it has given me a taste of how difficult it will be looking after Elizabeth if I am feeling rough!

She has got plenty of words now:

knee, keys, please (peas!), hooray, juice, star... in addition to all her usual ones.