show?

Well, last night I really thought things were happening! I was having these 'tightenings'/braxton hicks/mild contractions whatever the heck they are from bedtime onwards, and they were getting quite painful - QUITE painful. Woke husband up and in his sleep-fug said "let me know" then went back to sleep which I took to mean stay where I was (in bed) and persevere as obviously not the real deal yet. I was getting quite pleased with myself as I coached myself through dealing with the pain, and at around midnight got up and hurried out to make up Elizabeth's nappies. I'd left a basket on the landing with some half-made terries and night nappies awaiting paper liners, and remembered that there was a new roll of liners in the baby's room, so made them up, then gingerly opened Elizabeth's squeaky door and stacked the nappies in the cupboard, put the night nappies on the rack and put her wrap in her drawer. I tenderly pulled her duvet up over her and kissed her thinking 'this is it - I'm going' then went back to bed, and remained having on-off pain until 4am. Pah!

This morning I've felt rubbish - headachey and tired. Went to the loo at about 11am and saw evidence of a show, so felt that a trip to Sainsburys might be a bad move. Was doing a bit of sweeping and tidying and had music on with Elizabeth dancing and helping etc, then sat down and really felt like I couldn't get up again such was the tiredness. Took some paracetamol before lunch and had a shot of caffeine, and that plus food seems to have helped me to feel a bit more normal again.

Dad's just been over - he said he's exhausted so goodness knows how I feel. Exactly! So, will this be one of the last postings of 'First Time Mum'? Hopefully not too much longer now!!!!

Stretch and sweep

10 minutes away from tea followed by pancakes on what has been a very positive day!

The midwife came this morning after husband came home from work to keep an eye on Elizabeth, and she examined me before doing the stretch and sweep. Apparently my cervix is 75% effaced and in the right position (low) and 2 cm dilated. She was able to locate it (which was the first positive thing) then was able to do the stretching and sweeping and reached the baby's head which was also positive as in my mind I wouldn't be able to even deal with the pain of this procedure let alone anything else to follow! I was very proud of my ability to cope with it (even though people say it is uncomfortable rather than painful!).

She booked me an induction appointment for next Tuesday (3rd March) at 10am which hopefully I won't need, and talked through a few things with me. Now I've got to wait the 24-48 hours it might take for the sweep to have any effect. I've felt mega-positive all day though - the tiredness and irritation have gone, and I've had a lovely afternoon talking to Anna while Elizabeth slept. I've now got my apron on my pancakes - feel like I could actually give birth to a baby tonight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

slow labour?

The past few evenings I've had 'tightenings' - sort of crampy pains that get progressively worse and leave me gasping for breath... Prior to Friday it has been more discomfort when the baby moved, but on Friday I really thought things were happening. I was in bed and getting what I thought were mild contractions every fifteen minutes but they phased out and that was that. On Saturday night from 7pm I was getting pretty regular (every 5-10 minutes) contractions but again mild (but still very uncomfortable) and rang the labour ward. They said to have a bath and paracetamol and ring back in an hour, so I had a bath and a paracetamol, and the pain stopped. I tentatively got into bed thinking that I wouldn't be able to sleep and that we'd be making our way to the hospital by the early hours, but instead I had the best night's sleep I've had since November! Was woken by husband having cramp in his legs after an afternoon of skateboarding at 1am, but went straight back to sleep and slept until 6am.

So is this slow labour? And if so how long will it go on for? How will I know when it is the real thing? Half-term is now over and the baby is obviously not here, so am in a predicament as regards whether my Mum will look after Elizabeth or not. Trying to keep the house organised, the nappies washed, the clothes washed, and keep myself calm while each night having bloody contractions and being overdue is no fun at all!

three days overdue... is that all?

Its Friday. Baby was due on Tuesday. This is unbelievably difficult.

1. Every time I have a twinge I feel a panicky sense of 'is this it?'
2. I keep having to clean and re-clean the house, and make it feel organised ready for Mum and Dad to take over at a moment's notice. Making up nappies and keeping on top of the washing is something I could really do without.
3. I keep having to psych myself up for what lies ahead, and it is really hard to stay focused on what I'm going to have to do. I keep thinking "I don't really feel like it today/tonight" etc
4. The itching is still driving me crazy.
5. My skin hurts
6. I'm worried that the more time goes on the bigger the baby is getting and hence the more difficult the birth will be.
7. Half term is nearly over - how will my Dad manage Elizabeth if Mum is at work?

Hmm. Think that about summarises it. Really fed up, and its only three days over. I haven't had any of the signs that I had last time, but the baby is moving around a lot, and when it does it really hurts - enough to confuse me as to whether it is a contraction or not. This mainly happens in the evenings. I'm still having raspberry leaf capsules, and am still stricken with itching... My stomach particularly is 'crawling' for most of the afternoon and evening now. The skin on the backs of my legs has changed composition - it is like an old person's skin, sort of papery and dry - and usually glowing red with little veins showing.

I've spent the morning cleaning our room, and it looks nice and fresh now. The floors downstairs could do with a once over. The bedding has been changed, so I'm waiting for it to dry so there is a spare sheet should Mum and Dad need it. My sister has gone to Bruges for the weekend... Am off to go and start reading one of the three girly books I got from the library this morning. Am managing to rest in the afternoons now. Elizabeth is sleeping again at nap time, and started wearing BIG GIRLS' PANTS yesterday after her nap. She was as 'proud as a peacock' and so was I!!!

Due date is here!

I haven't had the date itself fixed in my brain quite in the same way as I had with Elizabeth, but I must admit to being surprised not to wake up this morning to a 'show' and the beginnings of contractions... I've had a few twinges every evening for the last few days, but I think its basically the baby moving around and I'm sure 'he' is back to back because it really hurts! Last night I got a really strong Braxton Hicks-type contraction at around midnight, but managed to remain calm, not wake husband, and ended up falling back to sleep.

So - I've got a midwife appointment tomorrow. Its half-term so my Mum is off work and came around yesterday to see how the cooker, washing machine, tumble dryer etc work. I think everything is pretty much organised for leaving Elizabeth but I honestly haven't got my head around the fact that it could literally be any time. It doesn't feel real, and I can't believe that within the next two weeks we will have another baby!

Elizabeth has chosen this time to phase out her afternoon nap, but I'm fighting her about it, and she's upstairs now jabbering away to herself in bed. She thinks the baby will come 'after Christmas' or when 'is sunny'. Husband thinks the baby will come today. I think at least two weeks late!!

Itching still reaching nightmare proportions across my stomach but better on my legs, and am not bleeding so much from the sores at night. Still getting through huge amounts of Gaviscon post-itching, and paracetamol in the middle of the night. Still dream of being able to sit comfortably on the sofa and watch tv, but all a distant dream at the moment.

Spoke to Claire at group today who had her baby six weeks ago. She had an epidural as she wasn't dilating at all, and ended up with an emergency CS as the baby was in distress. Felt worse somehow as had hoped that with a second it would be quick and relatively ok to deal with the pain.

Anyway, Sainsburys delivery man has just phoned to say he's coming early so had better go and get ready to receive all my ready meals, chocolate and biscuits!

39 weeks, splint still on, still itching!

Yes. I had my appointment at the fracture clinic on Friday morning (husband had the morning off to look after Elizabeth and they made a snow man in the garden). The doctor was somewhat surprised to see me after 4 weeks rather than the usual 6 (yes - I will be having the baby then!) and suggested I could either go home or we could have a look at the finger. I opted to have a look at it, and very disappointing it was too. Straightness hadn't been achieved, and it hurt like hell when I bent it. He suggested putting the splint back on for another couple of weeks, then slowly attempting to mobilise it... it might never get straight. Or there may be an underlying fracture but I can't be x-rayed until after the baby is born. Thanks for that. Back on with the splint and home.

I went out on Friday night. Claire's birthday. It was really lovely actually. I only stayed out an hour, but it was good to talk to lots of other Mums of toddlers, particularly some with toddlers of two and a new(ish) baby. Very reassuring.

Steady weekend. Didn't get up to too much. Had a few bad nights with itching and have had a few more better nights. Still haven't written the rest of the 'manual' for Elizabeth's care while I'm away. Procrastination feels like when I've had assignments to do for my teaching course, or even further back when I had essays at University. Deadline is a somewhat moveable feast though, and I feel like I'm playing Russian roulette every time I while away another afternoon. Torn between the need to take it easy and rest (read library books, lie listening to FiveLive etc) as I know I won't have time in a few short weeks. Elizabeth has been experiementing with no naps in the afternoon (NO!) but I keep insisting and since I've removed the toys from her windowsill she has settled a little better!

She nearly made me cry yesterday. We were in town posting letters and getting bits and pieces from the Co-op and she commented on the nice flower shop, and suggested we could buy some flowers for Mummy. I said we didn't have enough pennies, and she said she'd go home and get the pennies out of her till and buy some flowers for Mummy with them. When we got home she remembered and got all her pennies out! She also commented on the 'triangle' button in the car (hazard lights) and I tried to explain that we press it if the car breaks down on the motorward. When husband left this morning she said "Bye Dad, take care big road, have nice day, don't press triangle button on big road!"

I think the recent bad weather is over, so I shouldn't have to worry too much about making my way to Shrewsbury. No sign of a consultant appointment yet. I've booked my midwife appointment for next Wednesday (day after due date) like before. Will I be here next Tuesday blogging? Or otherwise engaged??!! Last antenatal yoga tonight.

Birth plan complete, trial run of 'bed-time routine' achieved... still itching!

I've had a few more bad nights with itching - and am feeling very very tired. Yesterday I was prompted to dig out the maternity mats and lie them under the bed sheet just in case as I'd been feeling some quite painful tightenings, which have continued for most of today. Nothing major though.

I had an interesting antenatal appointment with the midwife yesterday. Whilst running through my list of queries and concerns she suddenly realised that if I'd had a pph with over 500ml of blood lost (I lost 600ml) I will have to go to the consultant ward for the baby's birth, so all my questions over Telford or Shrewsbury become academic. I've never been seen by a consultant though, and am completely in the dark about why nobody has mentioned this to me, or in fact why the sonographer at my 20 week scan suggested I'd be fine to go to Telford. Typical. The midwife was quite helpful in terms of discussing the use (or not) of the syntocinon drip and continuous monitoring, and I now have a few copies of my bullet-pointed birth plan in my notes and feel more confident that things WILL BE DIFFERENT THIS TIME. She was very positive that (a) the baby is not large (b) my body will respond quicker as it knows what it is doing and (c) I can decline induction, monitoring and syntocinon.

Elizabeth went to bed fine on Tuesday night with Nanny and Grandad looking after her for the first time. I took husband to antenatal yoga, and they gave her tea and did bath/story/bed and we were somewhat amazed that she was successfully down by 7pm. It was quite refreshing to have a night off as we've been doing that routine for two years now! I certainly feel more reassured, but have got a lot more writing to do to ensure I've left instructions for every eventuality.

I've ordered a pram mattress from Silver Cross after completely overlooking the fact that we'd need one, so that is on the way. The cotbed mattress has arrived, and the nursery is looking more geared up for receiving the new arrival. I've packed my bags more properly than I had this time last week, and feel fleeting positive thoughts in amongst the tiredness and desperation. We've had lots of snow, and the interest rate has been cut down to 1%. I've got my appointment at the fracture clinic tomorrow so hopefully I'll be getting the splint off!!! Yey!