Last night Elizabeth went to bed at 9.40pm, and woke up at 6am (only because husband's alarm clock went off). She fed, then went back to sleep and stayed in her cot babbling to herself until about 9.30am. Last night she slept in her new sleeping bag for the first time, so this got me thinking, has she been waking up because she's been getting cold? With the sleeping bag (and scratch mitts to keep her hands warm) she was obviously snug as a bug, and couldn't kick her covers off. I was surprised that her flailing arms didn't wake her, as she has been swaddled since she was born, but this didn't seem to be a problem. So night times are great!
But, the morning went pear shaped quickly. She fed, then did her activities: looking at her mobile, playing on her gym, and she even managed to grasp a little toy in her hand for the first time. When she started grumbling I interpreted this as being tired, and rocked her to sleep listening to Take That's 'Patience', and put her down. She didn't sleep straight away, so I put the moses basket into her big cot so she could watch the mobile. She went to sleep by herself eventually, but just as I got started on the various jobs that needed doing she was awake again!
This afternoon she was grizzling - sounding not hungry but tired. I tried to rock her to sleep, walked around the house, and spent ages with her in her bouncy chair. Finally I decided to feed her and she fed hungrily - but would she go to sleep? It is now about 4 o'clock and I've got to finish ironing shirts, get the tumble drying in from the garage, do the dishes and put clothes away and she is still wide awake. When will I be sure what her cries mean? When will I learn a routine that works for the day and the night?
Monday, 22 January 2007
Friday, 19 January 2007
Immunisations (first ones)
Spent most of the morning looking longingly at Elizabeth, imagining that she wouldn't be the same baby post-2.15, the time of her dreaded first immunisations. I dressed her in her first (and only!) outfit, a little brown cordurouy dress for the occasion. We were called in by a nurse who asked me to remove Elizabeth's tights and sit with her on my lap firmly holding her leg. Elizabeth looked into my eyes as the needle went in and the scream erupted. I was not expecting the nurse to say "Half way there now mate", as she asked me to turn Elizabeth around so she could jab another needle into her other leg. The screaming subsided as I put her back in her car seat, and we waited in the waiting room for 10 minutes to see if there was any reaction.
I took her home via Boots on the retail park where I needed to get some infant Calpol and a syringe to administer it should she become feverish in the night. Back at home Elizabeth was certainly not herself. She cried in a more pained way, and more frequently, and all I could do was feed her and try to reassure her. She didn't fall silent when dancing around the coffee table with Daddy as she usually does, and didn't seem to enjoy 'talking' to us on her changing mat. I felt awful that she was obviously in pain or feeling unwell, but there was nothing we could do about it.
By 9pm I was tired and stressed and had a huge row with husband. Fell into bed anticipating the worst night's sleep ever, but Elizabeth went down just before 10pm and stayed asleep until about 4am. I, however, was awake and kept checking in case she became feverish or developed breathing difficulties or went blue. She didn't of course!
I took her home via Boots on the retail park where I needed to get some infant Calpol and a syringe to administer it should she become feverish in the night. Back at home Elizabeth was certainly not herself. She cried in a more pained way, and more frequently, and all I could do was feed her and try to reassure her. She didn't fall silent when dancing around the coffee table with Daddy as she usually does, and didn't seem to enjoy 'talking' to us on her changing mat. I felt awful that she was obviously in pain or feeling unwell, but there was nothing we could do about it.
By 9pm I was tired and stressed and had a huge row with husband. Fell into bed anticipating the worst night's sleep ever, but Elizabeth went down just before 10pm and stayed asleep until about 4am. I, however, was awake and kept checking in case she became feverish or developed breathing difficulties or went blue. She didn't of course!
Tuesday, 16 January 2007
Going to a Mum's and babies group for the first time
First breastfeeding support group. It went like this:
Elizabeth woke up at 6am, then again at 9am, and I thought it might be a repeat of last week with me not being able to get there. As she lay on her changing mat I bolted down some Weetabix and grabbed her change bag and got that packed. As 9.20 am approached I realised that I could try to have a shower, wash my hair, dry my hair, put my make-up on, straighten my hair, feed Elizabeth and go... or... I could just feed Elizabeth and go, so went for that option. After scraping my hair into a pony tail slapped on some lip gloss, grabbed the changing bag, put Elizabeth in her car seat and was just about to go out into the cold when I saw something that looked like a pigeon flapping around by the car.
Looking out of the kitchen window I was somewhat alarmed to see that it was a bird of prey of some description, sitting on my wing mirror. I grabbed the digital camera knowing that husband wouldn't believe me, then realised that this bird might pose a threat to my daughter. What if I walked outside with the car seat and it swooped down and attacked her? I couldn't decide what to do, and all the time it was making me later and later for the breastfeeding support group. Eventually it flew off, and we dashed out in the rain and drove around the corner to the venue making it for bang on 10am.
Spotted a Mum in the carpark unloading her toddler from her MPV. Didn't speak to her until we were inside when I quietly asked if I was in the right place. I was, but apparently the Mum's don't really arrive until half past. Great! One by one the Yummy Mummys started arriving with their lovely make-up and perfect hair, and I noticed that their little ones were wearing outfits - OUTFITS - not the sleepsuits that I have dressed Elizabeth in for the last 7 weeks. I sat pondering this, and a toddler called Toby approached. He wandered around the back of Elizabeth's car seat and promptly bopped her on the head. I spent the rest of the meeting holding Elizabeth firmly in my arms.
I did manage to glean some information about christenings which might be useful, and made one friend - someone who's daughter is closest in age to Elizabeth, and who lives locally, and who seems remarkably down to earth.
Elizabeth woke up at 6am, then again at 9am, and I thought it might be a repeat of last week with me not being able to get there. As she lay on her changing mat I bolted down some Weetabix and grabbed her change bag and got that packed. As 9.20 am approached I realised that I could try to have a shower, wash my hair, dry my hair, put my make-up on, straighten my hair, feed Elizabeth and go... or... I could just feed Elizabeth and go, so went for that option. After scraping my hair into a pony tail slapped on some lip gloss, grabbed the changing bag, put Elizabeth in her car seat and was just about to go out into the cold when I saw something that looked like a pigeon flapping around by the car.
Looking out of the kitchen window I was somewhat alarmed to see that it was a bird of prey of some description, sitting on my wing mirror. I grabbed the digital camera knowing that husband wouldn't believe me, then realised that this bird might pose a threat to my daughter. What if I walked outside with the car seat and it swooped down and attacked her? I couldn't decide what to do, and all the time it was making me later and later for the breastfeeding support group. Eventually it flew off, and we dashed out in the rain and drove around the corner to the venue making it for bang on 10am.
Spotted a Mum in the carpark unloading her toddler from her MPV. Didn't speak to her until we were inside when I quietly asked if I was in the right place. I was, but apparently the Mum's don't really arrive until half past. Great! One by one the Yummy Mummys started arriving with their lovely make-up and perfect hair, and I noticed that their little ones were wearing outfits - OUTFITS - not the sleepsuits that I have dressed Elizabeth in for the last 7 weeks. I sat pondering this, and a toddler called Toby approached. He wandered around the back of Elizabeth's car seat and promptly bopped her on the head. I spent the rest of the meeting holding Elizabeth firmly in my arms.
I did manage to glean some information about christenings which might be useful, and made one friend - someone who's daughter is closest in age to Elizabeth, and who lives locally, and who seems remarkably down to earth.
Thursday, 11 January 2007
6 week check (baby)
Elizabeth was awake twice in the night, which is very unusual for her - I can only put it down to her being alseep for so long yesterday afternoon when she had a three hour nap (unheard of!).
Dashed to get myself and her ready for our trip to the Doctors this morning at 11am. I fed her again but wasn't sure she had completely had her fill, so felt like I was on a 'wing and a prayer' a bit. There was no delay when I arrived us on the touchscreen computer thingy, and Amy the Health Visitor called us in at 11am. I got her undressed and she was weighed, and the circumference of her head was measured, then I had to wrap her in a blanket and wait for the doctor to arrive.
All was well - Elizabeth was so good, she hardly cried at all! Her arms and hips were checked, he looked at her eyes, and checked her over. Then he painted a chemical solution onto the granuloma (which I was reassured had no nerves, so Elizabeth wouldn't feel any pain). With this done I dressed her again and negotiated the rain and howling wind with the car seat and changing bag. Went for a quick drive around before returning home for a feed at 12 o'clock.
This afternoon decided (despite the horrible weather) to go for a walk, so put Elizabeth in the sleeping bag that my Mum bought for her, snuggled her in with a fleece blanket, and attached the hood and apron to the moses basket, and made up the pram. Off we set for a walk around the block and within seconds she was asleep. By the time we got home her big eyes were looking around, but I brought the carrycot in and put it on the table, and while I was putting away the hood and apron she fell asleep again. I sat reading the local paper not wanting to get too engrossed in any other tasks fearing she'd be up soon, however she slept on. She cried out once, I picked her up and she let out a big burp then promptly fell asleep again.
Dashed to get myself and her ready for our trip to the Doctors this morning at 11am. I fed her again but wasn't sure she had completely had her fill, so felt like I was on a 'wing and a prayer' a bit. There was no delay when I arrived us on the touchscreen computer thingy, and Amy the Health Visitor called us in at 11am. I got her undressed and she was weighed, and the circumference of her head was measured, then I had to wrap her in a blanket and wait for the doctor to arrive.
All was well - Elizabeth was so good, she hardly cried at all! Her arms and hips were checked, he looked at her eyes, and checked her over. Then he painted a chemical solution onto the granuloma (which I was reassured had no nerves, so Elizabeth wouldn't feel any pain). With this done I dressed her again and negotiated the rain and howling wind with the car seat and changing bag. Went for a quick drive around before returning home for a feed at 12 o'clock.
This afternoon decided (despite the horrible weather) to go for a walk, so put Elizabeth in the sleeping bag that my Mum bought for her, snuggled her in with a fleece blanket, and attached the hood and apron to the moses basket, and made up the pram. Off we set for a walk around the block and within seconds she was asleep. By the time we got home her big eyes were looking around, but I brought the carrycot in and put it on the table, and while I was putting away the hood and apron she fell asleep again. I sat reading the local paper not wanting to get too engrossed in any other tasks fearing she'd be up soon, however she slept on. She cried out once, I picked her up and she let out a big burp then promptly fell asleep again.
Wednesday, 10 January 2007
6 week check (me)
Elizabeth woke in the night at 3.40am, and fed very briefly being back in her cot by 4.05am. She slept again until 6.40am, and was up and about for the day at 10.15am. I fed her and changed her then got ready to go out to the doctors for my 6-week postnatal check. She was well-fed and quiet when I strapped her into the car, although her big eyes were wide awake. There was no space on the surgery car park so had to park on the main road and negotiate the traffic while I unstrapped the car seat. I 'arrived' myself on the touch screen computer system and my heart sank when I read that the delay was currently half an hour. Sat in a quiet part of the waiting room and struck up conversation with another Mum and her pushchair. She told me that Charlie was 11 weeks - he seemed very big!
Elizabeth was still asleep when my name was called. Had my blood pressure taken (high) then the GP asked me some questions (had I thought about contraception yet? No!!). He was disappointed that my pelvis hadn't settled but said it could take many months and to come back if it was no better in many months. I said that my stitches still hurt, and he said that they might hurt for a bit yet, did I want him to take a look? The honest answer to that question would be 'no!' but I wanted reassurance that I didn't have an infection or something, so got up on the bed while the nurse held the curtain as it had fallen off the rail. Took my clothes off and memories of labour came flooding back as I raised my legs, bent my knees and let the doctor peer inside me. He said it looked 'angry' and 'tight' and poked about inside me to see how far the tear went (quite a way). If it isn't better within two months I might have to have the episiotomy 're-set', i.e. they will remove the scar tissue and stitch me up again. Felt uneasy about what would happen to Elizabeth during this procedure - she needs me! GP was keen to get on, but I had to get in my question about the rash/itching which has been driving me mad for ages. It started weeks ago on the flabby skin of my stomach, then moved to my boobs, and now my hips, legs, arms... everywhere really. He prescribed some hydrocortisone and sent me on my way.
Fastened Elizabeth back into the car, then drove around to the shops in the village, parked, got her car seat strapped on to the pram wheels and went to the chemist for my prescription. When that finally arrived she was waking up, and by the time I was back at the house at 1pm she was hungry and had a very wet and dirty nappy. She fed really well though, and I was amazed that she went to sleep in my arms and settled nicely into her cot.
Relayed the news from the doctor to husband on the phone during his lunch-time call - he sounded concerned about the prospect of an operation, and felt that waiting two months seemed a long time.
Elizabeth was back to 'feeding frenzies' this evening. I occupied her for a good half and hour or so having a massage which she seemed to enjoy. She also had a good 'tummy time' without her nappy on - having the huge terry nappy seems to make it very difficult for her to lie comfortably on her front.
Elizabeth was still asleep when my name was called. Had my blood pressure taken (high) then the GP asked me some questions (had I thought about contraception yet? No!!). He was disappointed that my pelvis hadn't settled but said it could take many months and to come back if it was no better in many months. I said that my stitches still hurt, and he said that they might hurt for a bit yet, did I want him to take a look? The honest answer to that question would be 'no!' but I wanted reassurance that I didn't have an infection or something, so got up on the bed while the nurse held the curtain as it had fallen off the rail. Took my clothes off and memories of labour came flooding back as I raised my legs, bent my knees and let the doctor peer inside me. He said it looked 'angry' and 'tight' and poked about inside me to see how far the tear went (quite a way). If it isn't better within two months I might have to have the episiotomy 're-set', i.e. they will remove the scar tissue and stitch me up again. Felt uneasy about what would happen to Elizabeth during this procedure - she needs me! GP was keen to get on, but I had to get in my question about the rash/itching which has been driving me mad for ages. It started weeks ago on the flabby skin of my stomach, then moved to my boobs, and now my hips, legs, arms... everywhere really. He prescribed some hydrocortisone and sent me on my way.
Fastened Elizabeth back into the car, then drove around to the shops in the village, parked, got her car seat strapped on to the pram wheels and went to the chemist for my prescription. When that finally arrived she was waking up, and by the time I was back at the house at 1pm she was hungry and had a very wet and dirty nappy. She fed really well though, and I was amazed that she went to sleep in my arms and settled nicely into her cot.
Relayed the news from the doctor to husband on the phone during his lunch-time call - he sounded concerned about the prospect of an operation, and felt that waiting two months seemed a long time.
Elizabeth was back to 'feeding frenzies' this evening. I occupied her for a good half and hour or so having a massage which she seemed to enjoy. She also had a good 'tummy time' without her nappy on - having the huge terry nappy seems to make it very difficult for her to lie comfortably on her front.
lazy day
Made the decision to go back to sleep myself after Elizabeth's first feed rather than having a shower, so that effectively knocked any plans to go to the breastfeeding support group on the head. When she woke up at 9.30 took some photos of her on her changing mat, and managed to capture her smile for the first time! She listened to some music while I attempted to have a wash (no time for a shower) then was mortified when my Dad arrived while I was still in my dressing gown at about 1pm. He stayed for a while because Elizabeth was quite happy to sit in her bouncy chair. When she tired of that she went to her gym for a while. It was nice to have some company but funny how my visitors always leave as soon as Elizabeth indicates she is ready to feed!
After her lunch she sat in the sling and didn't protest too much this time, so I was able to get on with some bits and pieces - emailed colleague from work, got the nappies in from the tumble dryer, pottered on the internet and read some of my baby books.
Don't know whether having this longer period of sleep in the afternoon helped, but the evening 'frenzy' wasn't quite so frenzied. She fed at 6.40pm while I had my tea, then had a bath with me. While we lay in the bath she made a beeline for my right boob, but dunked her head in the water when she got there and had quite a fright!
After her bath she settled down into her cot at 9pm, and woke briefly fifty minutes later. She fed and went down in her cot again by 10.10pm.
After her lunch she sat in the sling and didn't protest too much this time, so I was able to get on with some bits and pieces - emailed colleague from work, got the nappies in from the tumble dryer, pottered on the internet and read some of my baby books.
Don't know whether having this longer period of sleep in the afternoon helped, but the evening 'frenzy' wasn't quite so frenzied. She fed at 6.40pm while I had my tea, then had a bath with me. While we lay in the bath she made a beeline for my right boob, but dunked her head in the water when she got there and had quite a fright!
After her bath she settled down into her cot at 9pm, and woke briefly fifty minutes later. She fed and went down in her cot again by 10.10pm.
9 January 2007
Made the decision to go back to sleep myself after Elizabeth's first feed rather than having a shower, so that effectively knocked any plans to go to the breastfeeding support group on the head. When she woke up at 9.30 took some photos of her on her changing mat, and managed to capture her smile for the first time! She listened to some music while I attempted to have a wash (no time for a shower) then was mortified when my Dad arrived while I was still in my dressing gown at about 1pm. He stayed for a while because Elizabeth was quite happy to sit in her bouncy chair. When she tired of that she went to her gym for a while. It was nice to have some company but funny how my visitors always leave as soon as Elizabeth indicates she is ready to feed!
After her lunch she sat in the sling and didn't protest too much this time, so I was able to get on with some bits and pieces - emailed colleague from work, got the nappies in from the tumble dryer, pottered on the internet and read some of my baby books.
Don't know whether having this longer period of sleep in the afternoon helped, but the evening 'frenzy' wasn't quite so frenzied. She fed at 6.40pm while I had my tea, then had a bath with me. While we lay in the bath she made a beeline for my right boob, but dunked her head in the water when she got there and had quite a fright!
After her bath she settled down into her cot at 9pm, and woke briefly fifty minutes later. She fed and went down in her cot again by 10.10pm.
After her lunch she sat in the sling and didn't protest too much this time, so I was able to get on with some bits and pieces - emailed colleague from work, got the nappies in from the tumble dryer, pottered on the internet and read some of my baby books.
Don't know whether having this longer period of sleep in the afternoon helped, but the evening 'frenzy' wasn't quite so frenzied. She fed at 6.40pm while I had my tea, then had a bath with me. While we lay in the bath she made a beeline for my right boob, but dunked her head in the water when she got there and had quite a fright!
After her bath she settled down into her cot at 9pm, and woke briefly fifty minutes later. She fed and went down in her cot again by 10.10pm.
Monday, 8 January 2007
A day at home
Elizabeth woke at 4am, and again at about 7am, so quite relieved that her 'night pattern' is back to normal. Got up after her morning feed and tiptoed around the house putting the nappies in the washing machine, checking the 'Bounty' discussion boards, opening curtains, putting the dishes away in the cupboards, tidying up, and finally settling down for breakfast. Dug out the information pack to find out when exactly the Breastfeeding Support Group meeting was, umming and ahhing about whether to skip it and go back to bed. Found out it is actually tomorrow so I'm off the hook for today. What to do with this 'bonus time'? I'm running a bath...
Had a long bath, then started rushing around cleaning the house, probably undoing any of the beneficial effects of the bath. Felt much better for hoovering the mattress of our bed, changing the bedding, and dusting the room. Ate lunch at a reasonable lunch-time, and had Elizabeth sitting in her bouncy chair quite happily while I ate. Decided to take her out at about 3.30pm. Put her in her snowsuit, as I realised that although it looks enormous on the hanger, that is actually how big she is now (lengthwise anyway - the sleeves were a little long). Off we set to the town centre. Not a very adventurous trip, just to the library. Dropped off all the books I'd picked up last week, and went to choose another clutch of breastfeeding/newparenting/how to soothe your crying baby books. Drove home with Elizabeth still fast asleep, however she was awake as soon as I came through the door.
Was keen to show husband the details I'd received today about Child Tax Credit. He updated the spreadsheet - it looks more likely that I'll be able to return to work 2 days a week in September.
Elizabeth's frenzy started at 4pm. Husband held her while I started a spaghetti bolognaise, and she seemed ok. Had her nappy changed, and walked around with him, sat chatting in my chair etc. After tea I fed her, then decided to start her bath at 7.23pm - somehow imagining I'd be finished by half past in time to see Coronation Street. Obviously I wasn't. While she was lying on the floor in the bathroom getting ready for her bath I flushed her nappy liner, and she screamed out in fear of the noise the toilet made. I'm noticing she is a lot more bothered by sudded noises now. She has also started cyring all of a sudden in a more pained way when she has just 'had enough'. For example she'll just be sitting smiling and chatting, then will scream out and it sounds as though she is in pain, but once she is held or moved she stops as suddenly as she started.
Fed her upstairs and tried to settle her but no. Ended up finally going into her cot at 11pm.
Had a long bath, then started rushing around cleaning the house, probably undoing any of the beneficial effects of the bath. Felt much better for hoovering the mattress of our bed, changing the bedding, and dusting the room. Ate lunch at a reasonable lunch-time, and had Elizabeth sitting in her bouncy chair quite happily while I ate. Decided to take her out at about 3.30pm. Put her in her snowsuit, as I realised that although it looks enormous on the hanger, that is actually how big she is now (lengthwise anyway - the sleeves were a little long). Off we set to the town centre. Not a very adventurous trip, just to the library. Dropped off all the books I'd picked up last week, and went to choose another clutch of breastfeeding/newparenting/how to soothe your crying baby books. Drove home with Elizabeth still fast asleep, however she was awake as soon as I came through the door.
Was keen to show husband the details I'd received today about Child Tax Credit. He updated the spreadsheet - it looks more likely that I'll be able to return to work 2 days a week in September.
Elizabeth's frenzy started at 4pm. Husband held her while I started a spaghetti bolognaise, and she seemed ok. Had her nappy changed, and walked around with him, sat chatting in my chair etc. After tea I fed her, then decided to start her bath at 7.23pm - somehow imagining I'd be finished by half past in time to see Coronation Street. Obviously I wasn't. While she was lying on the floor in the bathroom getting ready for her bath I flushed her nappy liner, and she screamed out in fear of the noise the toilet made. I'm noticing she is a lot more bothered by sudded noises now. She has also started cyring all of a sudden in a more pained way when she has just 'had enough'. For example she'll just be sitting smiling and chatting, then will scream out and it sounds as though she is in pain, but once she is held or moved she stops as suddenly as she started.
Fed her upstairs and tried to settle her but no. Ended up finally going into her cot at 11pm.
Thinking about back to work
Elizabeth slept again until about 11am this morning, while husband went to Sainsbury's to get the weekly shopping and to take back the perfume he'd mistakenly bought me for Christmas (i.e. the 'wrong' one!). He'd already put the nappies in the washer, so I dozed in bed then finally sprung up to get a shower just as Elizabeth was waking for a feed (typical!). She spent some nice time on her gym and in her bouncy chair this afternoon, but still reluctant to go back into her cot when tired. Husband put her in a sling to do the ironing and she happily fell asleep there while I cleaned the kitchen - long overdue. I don't understand how people who say 'cleaning and scrubbing can wait 'til tomorrow...' manage, because the kitchen was disgusting! After wiping pomegranate juice from just about every surface thanks to husband's new year's resolution to eat five portions of fruit and veg each day, I started hoovering the stairs and landing, put more washing in, and generally busied myself until Mum rang. Just as I was settling to talk to her for a few minutes Elizabeth announced she needed feeding, so managed to do both at the same time.
She sat in her bouncy chair while we lunched on hotdogs, and for the first time fell asleep in her chair, but obviously didn't cope with the transfer from chair to cot.
Spent some time thinking about going back to work. Dug out my planner from work and realised that I'm now down to 'half pay' for 10 weeks, then by March I'll be on Statutory Maternity Pay only. Will be due to return to work by the end of April, but should have accrued some annual leave to 'tack on' at the end. What to do? Really don't want to go back (at all!) but how can we afford it? Considered the option of going back at 0.5, but that would involve three day's of travelling which would mean it wasn't really worth my while, and also three day's of childcare for Elizabeth.
Discussed options with husband later on, while looking for cottages for a Spring/Summer holiday and trying to work out what we can afford. The dreaded 'projections' spreadsheet was dug out, figures updated, and it looks grim. Two weeks in Devon has quickly become one week at a push. I don't know how people do it, we don't want a luxurious lifestyle, just to be able to spend some quality time with our child. The prospect of leaving her terrifies me. It casts a dark cloud over my maternity leave.
Returned to the kitchen in style this evening and got the food processor out to make a vegetable cobbler. Elizabeth was held and rocked by husband while I did the tricky bits, then when the dish was in the oven I fed her, and finally got to eat my meal (cold) a bit later on. Moved upstairs with her to endure the evening feeding frenzy. Checked some information on the internet about 'evening fussing and cluster feeding' but no real answers. Realised we had missed her bath out of the routine, but by 9pm it felt a bit late. At 11pm we knew she was clean and dry, well-fed and should have been well-tired as well, so settled her into her cot while we fell into bed next to her. She grumbled and protested for a while, then fell silent prompting husband to ask 'Is she still breathing?'. She slept until 4am, and fed for an hour. Relieved to get night feed back perversely, as it means I won't wake up swimming in a sea of milk! Went through three maternity bras yesterday morning, and don't want a repeat of that.
She sat in her bouncy chair while we lunched on hotdogs, and for the first time fell asleep in her chair, but obviously didn't cope with the transfer from chair to cot.
Spent some time thinking about going back to work. Dug out my planner from work and realised that I'm now down to 'half pay' for 10 weeks, then by March I'll be on Statutory Maternity Pay only. Will be due to return to work by the end of April, but should have accrued some annual leave to 'tack on' at the end. What to do? Really don't want to go back (at all!) but how can we afford it? Considered the option of going back at 0.5, but that would involve three day's of travelling which would mean it wasn't really worth my while, and also three day's of childcare for Elizabeth.
Discussed options with husband later on, while looking for cottages for a Spring/Summer holiday and trying to work out what we can afford. The dreaded 'projections' spreadsheet was dug out, figures updated, and it looks grim. Two weeks in Devon has quickly become one week at a push. I don't know how people do it, we don't want a luxurious lifestyle, just to be able to spend some quality time with our child. The prospect of leaving her terrifies me. It casts a dark cloud over my maternity leave.
Returned to the kitchen in style this evening and got the food processor out to make a vegetable cobbler. Elizabeth was held and rocked by husband while I did the tricky bits, then when the dish was in the oven I fed her, and finally got to eat my meal (cold) a bit later on. Moved upstairs with her to endure the evening feeding frenzy. Checked some information on the internet about 'evening fussing and cluster feeding' but no real answers. Realised we had missed her bath out of the routine, but by 9pm it felt a bit late. At 11pm we knew she was clean and dry, well-fed and should have been well-tired as well, so settled her into her cot while we fell into bed next to her. She grumbled and protested for a while, then fell silent prompting husband to ask 'Is she still breathing?'. She slept until 4am, and fed for an hour. Relieved to get night feed back perversely, as it means I won't wake up swimming in a sea of milk! Went through three maternity bras yesterday morning, and don't want a repeat of that.
Growing out of newborn clothes
It's the weekend, so in theory a welcome opportunity to share the nappy changes and household chores with my husband. He is doing well actually - not needing so many prompts to put washing in, take it to the tumble dryer, or to wash up dishes. Being twelfth night an issue for today was the taking down of the Christmas tree. He duly got the step ladder from the garage and fetched the decorations box from the loft, then set off to the shopping centre to return some clothes and get his hair cut. I traipsed around in my dressing gown packing away the baubles, and nostalgically wrapping Elizabeth's 'my first Christmas' decorations in tissue paper to consign them to the loft. Decorations duly packaged up I then turned to the clothes which Elizabeth has now grown out of. Felt very sad making a parcel for the loft containing her first newborn suits (the ones she wore in hospital!!) and her first nappy wraps. Made a careful note of what I was packaging, although it is difficult to imagine bringing them back down for a second baby at the moment. On a roll so took all my maternity clothes out of the wardrobe and packaged them up. Sad to say goodbye to my navy blue spotty t-shirt, the white skirt that got me through most of the summer, and the big black tops that I seem to have been wearing since September. Will I ever wear them again?!!
Husband arrives back to find me still in bed having not had a shower or anything! Feeding Elizabeth and looking a bit sorry for myself. Eventually hand her over and manage to get a shower, then hold Elizabeth while trying to pass bags and boxes up into the loft. I noticed today that Elizabeth has started to noticeably startle - when sitting in her bouncy chair she jumped when I made a racket tripping over next to her. She also jumped when I put her on her changing mat, and jumped a couple of times when my husband has made a loud noise near her.
The 'feeding frenzy' started at 4pm and continued until midnight. Exhausting at the time, but she was obviously stocking up for the night ahead because she didn't wake up until seven am. Trouble was I was awake at 5am, sitting downstairs trying to express milk to relieve the agony! Didn't achieve much but it was my first attempt.
Husband arrives back to find me still in bed having not had a shower or anything! Feeding Elizabeth and looking a bit sorry for myself. Eventually hand her over and manage to get a shower, then hold Elizabeth while trying to pass bags and boxes up into the loft. I noticed today that Elizabeth has started to noticeably startle - when sitting in her bouncy chair she jumped when I made a racket tripping over next to her. She also jumped when I put her on her changing mat, and jumped a couple of times when my husband has made a loud noise near her.
The 'feeding frenzy' started at 4pm and continued until midnight. Exhausting at the time, but she was obviously stocking up for the night ahead because she didn't wake up until seven am. Trouble was I was awake at 5am, sitting downstairs trying to express milk to relieve the agony! Didn't achieve much but it was my first attempt.
Friday, 5 January 2007
Elizabeth gets a fright... and so do I
Elizabeth slept from 10.50 last night until 6am this morning! Could not believe it! Husband wasn't overly impressed and got ready for work at 6am, not appreciating the magnitude of Elizabeth's sleeping feat. She fed in bed, had her nappy changed then slept again for two and a half hours enabling me to get some breakfast (learned the lesson of yesterday when I barely had time to eat and wondered if it had affected my milk supply... but then there are so many variables it is impossible to isolate THE one that causes a 'feeding frenzy'). Put the nappies in the washing machine, then went back to bed and launched into reading the books I'd borrowed from the library yesterday while listening to the Breakfast Show on Radio FiveLive.
Realised that Elizabeth usually feeds for quite a long time, and this might indicate a problem latching on. When she woke up again at 9.45 I attended to this carefully and sure enough she fed for 15 minutes then seemed satisfied and came off the breast by herself. Feeling super-happy about this I changed her nappy and decided to allow her some time without her nappy on to kick her legs on the changing mat. Brought the mat with her on it into the bathroom so that I could get on with some cleaning while she kicked her legs and listened to the music that I was playing from the computer.
Got the fright of my life when I reached into the cupboard for the Windowlene and moved her changing mat to get the door open. Sprayed the Windowlene to clean the mirror, and dropped it in horror as Elizabeth emitted an ear-piercing scream. In panic I lifted her up and held her, thinking she had some terrible allergy to the spray, then realised what I had done. In moving her changing mat I'd placed her too close to the radiator which was hot, and she'd obviously burned her leg on the radiator. Felt awful. Panicking that I'd have to take her to A&E or call an ambulance I instinctively dunked her leg under the cold tap. Thought about it. She wouldn't have had her leg pressed against the hot radiator. As soon as she felt the pain she would have moved her leg. She'd had a nasty shock, but there didn't seem to be any damage done. I felt incredibly guilty, but resolved to learn from my mistake and be more careful in future.
She slept and fed much better for the rest of the afternoon, and I continued my reading about latching on and more effective breast feeding.
Realised that Elizabeth usually feeds for quite a long time, and this might indicate a problem latching on. When she woke up again at 9.45 I attended to this carefully and sure enough she fed for 15 minutes then seemed satisfied and came off the breast by herself. Feeling super-happy about this I changed her nappy and decided to allow her some time without her nappy on to kick her legs on the changing mat. Brought the mat with her on it into the bathroom so that I could get on with some cleaning while she kicked her legs and listened to the music that I was playing from the computer.
Got the fright of my life when I reached into the cupboard for the Windowlene and moved her changing mat to get the door open. Sprayed the Windowlene to clean the mirror, and dropped it in horror as Elizabeth emitted an ear-piercing scream. In panic I lifted her up and held her, thinking she had some terrible allergy to the spray, then realised what I had done. In moving her changing mat I'd placed her too close to the radiator which was hot, and she'd obviously burned her leg on the radiator. Felt awful. Panicking that I'd have to take her to A&E or call an ambulance I instinctively dunked her leg under the cold tap. Thought about it. She wouldn't have had her leg pressed against the hot radiator. As soon as she felt the pain she would have moved her leg. She'd had a nasty shock, but there didn't seem to be any damage done. I felt incredibly guilty, but resolved to learn from my mistake and be more careful in future.
She slept and fed much better for the rest of the afternoon, and I continued my reading about latching on and more effective breast feeding.
The Health Visitor visits...
Elizabeth slept the most she has ever slept in one go - She went to sleep at 7.15pm, woke up at 1.55am, then slept until 5.50am, so in total I had seven hours sleep. Felt so much better for it, but bizzarely instead of being full of life and raring to go, I opted to stay in bed this morning, and 10 o'clock (the time of the Health Visitor's visit) loomed rapidly. Needless to say Elizabeth woke up at 9.30 in 'no-man's land' - too long before the health visitor came to wait for a feed, not enough time to complete the feed cycle. 10am came and went and I consulted my blue book and realised that the Health Visitor wasn't actually coming until 11am!
She duly arrived and weighed Elizabeth - 11lb 6oz. This made me feel good, this together with the Health Vistitor's (somewhat patronising yet very much appreciated) congratulations. However, on being weighed she spotted what she said was a granuloma on her tummy button, and she said the Dr would have to 'cauterise' it - not sure what that means... I had noticed that a gunky discharge was appearing at the top of Elizabeth's nappies, but thought it was just the normal healing process. You learn something new every day.
The Health Visitor was generally encouraging - although I feel very fed up that my symphysis pubis still hurts like mad, and the site of my episiotomy stitches is very uncomfortable. She said I was making good progress, and should just discuss my physical health next week with the Doctor. Elizabeth's appointment for her six week check had arrived through the post, and I assumed that I would be checked then too, but apparently not. Health Visitor told me to make a separate appointment. Just as she was about to leave she asked if I had any other questions. I had noticed this morning that her big toe nails seemed to be embedded under the skin of her toes, so asked about this. I was told to make sure that her sleep suits were big enough, as pressure from ill-fitting clothing causes this to happen. Felt devastated that I hadn't realised. Elizabeth is a 'long' baby, and her sleep suits were very neat-fitting, but to be honest I was loathes to start her in the next size up so soon, and had no idea that this could cause problems for her feet. As soon as the Health Visitor left I went up to Elizabeth's room and dug out the bigger sleep suits, decided I didn't have enough and planned an afternoon shopping trip to stock up.
Made a Dr's appointment for myself for next Wednesday, fed Elizabeth, then we set off in the car. I had several items of clothes bought hastily in the pre-Christmas rush that I needed to take back, then bought a pack of sleepsuits in 0-3 size from Primark for £5 (went for yellow rather thank pink as her wardrobe is very pink at the moment!). Also bought a pack of tights because realised that some of her dresses might well fit her now. While I was walking around the shops with Elizabeth in her car seat on the pram wheels I was struck by how different I feel now to when I last came shopping with her on my own. I feel less stressed and panicky, as I 'know' her better now. I don't fear her waking up in quite the same way. As I strolled on she opened her big beautiful eyes and looked around, taking in the sights and sounds of the shopping centre, then dropped off to sleep again.
When I arrived home with all my bags, the hood and cosy toes for the car seat, the blankets, Elizabeth's jacket, the changing bag etc she started a 'feeding frenzy' which lasted from 4pm until she finally went down to sleep at 10.51pm. The health visitor did say that the longer she slept at night the more she would need to sleep in the day, and I know that every few days Elizabeth has a tendency to go 'crackers' as I put it, and feed constantly, but it always hits me hard when it happens. The first thing to note about one of these feeding frenzies is you don't know it is happening to begin with. I put her down after her feed and ran a bath for myself, assuming that she'd sleep as she had done before our shopping trip. I envisaged a bath before putting my tea on, then settling down for EastEnders waiting for my husband to return. However, as I sank into the bath the monitor lit up, and the familiar green lights flickered and eventually reached the red 'danger zone' and I was forced to grab a towel and go to her. I decided to try taking her into the bath with me which wasn't perhaps the most sensible thing to do with no one else in the house, but went for it anyway. She seemed happy enough, and was enjoying splashing around. The phone rang (luckily I'd brought my mobile and the landline phone up the bathroom) so felt a bit strange talking to my father-in-law while naked in the bath holding my baby!
The frenzy continued and by the time my husband arrived home I was exhausted and very short-tempered. He held Elizabeth for a bit then announced that it seemed like she needed feeding. I fed her again, he held her again, then suggested a nappy change. Part way through this procedure I realised that when someone comes in part way through a frenzy they don't quite see it as I do. To my husband it seemed obvious that she needed feeding then needed changing, but to me the feeding is following by the nappy change which wakes her up, then you hold her, she cries, and she needs feeding again, and so the cycle continues, and it becomes very frustrating when someone suddenly decides to tell you 'I think she needs feeding'.
Bed at 11pm.
She duly arrived and weighed Elizabeth - 11lb 6oz. This made me feel good, this together with the Health Vistitor's (somewhat patronising yet very much appreciated) congratulations. However, on being weighed she spotted what she said was a granuloma on her tummy button, and she said the Dr would have to 'cauterise' it - not sure what that means... I had noticed that a gunky discharge was appearing at the top of Elizabeth's nappies, but thought it was just the normal healing process. You learn something new every day.
The Health Visitor was generally encouraging - although I feel very fed up that my symphysis pubis still hurts like mad, and the site of my episiotomy stitches is very uncomfortable. She said I was making good progress, and should just discuss my physical health next week with the Doctor. Elizabeth's appointment for her six week check had arrived through the post, and I assumed that I would be checked then too, but apparently not. Health Visitor told me to make a separate appointment. Just as she was about to leave she asked if I had any other questions. I had noticed this morning that her big toe nails seemed to be embedded under the skin of her toes, so asked about this. I was told to make sure that her sleep suits were big enough, as pressure from ill-fitting clothing causes this to happen. Felt devastated that I hadn't realised. Elizabeth is a 'long' baby, and her sleep suits were very neat-fitting, but to be honest I was loathes to start her in the next size up so soon, and had no idea that this could cause problems for her feet. As soon as the Health Visitor left I went up to Elizabeth's room and dug out the bigger sleep suits, decided I didn't have enough and planned an afternoon shopping trip to stock up.
Made a Dr's appointment for myself for next Wednesday, fed Elizabeth, then we set off in the car. I had several items of clothes bought hastily in the pre-Christmas rush that I needed to take back, then bought a pack of sleepsuits in 0-3 size from Primark for £5 (went for yellow rather thank pink as her wardrobe is very pink at the moment!). Also bought a pack of tights because realised that some of her dresses might well fit her now. While I was walking around the shops with Elizabeth in her car seat on the pram wheels I was struck by how different I feel now to when I last came shopping with her on my own. I feel less stressed and panicky, as I 'know' her better now. I don't fear her waking up in quite the same way. As I strolled on she opened her big beautiful eyes and looked around, taking in the sights and sounds of the shopping centre, then dropped off to sleep again.
When I arrived home with all my bags, the hood and cosy toes for the car seat, the blankets, Elizabeth's jacket, the changing bag etc she started a 'feeding frenzy' which lasted from 4pm until she finally went down to sleep at 10.51pm. The health visitor did say that the longer she slept at night the more she would need to sleep in the day, and I know that every few days Elizabeth has a tendency to go 'crackers' as I put it, and feed constantly, but it always hits me hard when it happens. The first thing to note about one of these feeding frenzies is you don't know it is happening to begin with. I put her down after her feed and ran a bath for myself, assuming that she'd sleep as she had done before our shopping trip. I envisaged a bath before putting my tea on, then settling down for EastEnders waiting for my husband to return. However, as I sank into the bath the monitor lit up, and the familiar green lights flickered and eventually reached the red 'danger zone' and I was forced to grab a towel and go to her. I decided to try taking her into the bath with me which wasn't perhaps the most sensible thing to do with no one else in the house, but went for it anyway. She seemed happy enough, and was enjoying splashing around. The phone rang (luckily I'd brought my mobile and the landline phone up the bathroom) so felt a bit strange talking to my father-in-law while naked in the bath holding my baby!
The frenzy continued and by the time my husband arrived home I was exhausted and very short-tempered. He held Elizabeth for a bit then announced that it seemed like she needed feeding. I fed her again, he held her again, then suggested a nappy change. Part way through this procedure I realised that when someone comes in part way through a frenzy they don't quite see it as I do. To my husband it seemed obvious that she needed feeding then needed changing, but to me the feeding is following by the nappy change which wakes her up, then you hold her, she cries, and she needs feeding again, and so the cycle continues, and it becomes very frustrating when someone suddenly decides to tell you 'I think she needs feeding'.
Bed at 11pm.
Tuesday, 2 January 2007
Home alone with a baby
It's 2nd January 2007, and my husband has returned to work after the Christmas break. Now it is just me and Elizabeth...
She was born just over six weeks ago, and I had fully intended to document her early progress, however soon realised that there wasn't time in the day!!! Now with Christmas over and New Year beginning, I will try to post regularly to record my attempts to stay on top as a first time Mum, and to record all the amazing changes in my baby daughter.
Last night Elizabeth slept between 10pm and 2am, then again between 4am and 7am. Since then she has been napping and feeding on an off all day. Yesterday she uttered her first recognisable sounds, and was introduced to the 'baby gym' we bought her for Christmas. Today she has been less alert, preferring to sit cuddled up with me, sleeping.
It is now 3.30pm and I've managed to wash a load of nappies, and retrieve them from the tumble dryer. The breakfast dishes have been done, and I have managed to have lunch, and have a shower. My parents have visited briefly, bringing more presents for Elizabeth - she has so many things it is unbelievable. I'm sitting here in my coat (haven't had time to take it off since bringing the washing in from the garage) with my wet hair scraped into a ponytail on top of my head, and having checked my emails that is the next item on my agenda - dry hair. Then I might be 'ready' by the time my husband returns home from work at 5pm!!!
She was born just over six weeks ago, and I had fully intended to document her early progress, however soon realised that there wasn't time in the day!!! Now with Christmas over and New Year beginning, I will try to post regularly to record my attempts to stay on top as a first time Mum, and to record all the amazing changes in my baby daughter.
Last night Elizabeth slept between 10pm and 2am, then again between 4am and 7am. Since then she has been napping and feeding on an off all day. Yesterday she uttered her first recognisable sounds, and was introduced to the 'baby gym' we bought her for Christmas. Today she has been less alert, preferring to sit cuddled up with me, sleeping.
It is now 3.30pm and I've managed to wash a load of nappies, and retrieve them from the tumble dryer. The breakfast dishes have been done, and I have managed to have lunch, and have a shower. My parents have visited briefly, bringing more presents for Elizabeth - she has so many things it is unbelievable. I'm sitting here in my coat (haven't had time to take it off since bringing the washing in from the garage) with my wet hair scraped into a ponytail on top of my head, and having checked my emails that is the next item on my agenda - dry hair. Then I might be 'ready' by the time my husband returns home from work at 5pm!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)