On Monday 25th August we had a lovely day - went off to Shrewsbury in the morning, took Elizabeth to the Quarry, fed the ducks, went to the park, then had lunch in Pizza Express. She ate pasta and tomato sauce followed by strawberry sundae. We then went on to RSH and I had my scan at 2pm. One baby, heart beating, all is well!!! Phew! The only thing was that they gave me a new EDD: 17th February instead of 28th February, and I immediately started to panic about being induced if the baby is overdue... Elizabeth understood a little of what went on, she recognises the picture of the baby, and knows Mummy has a baby in her tummy for her to say 'hello hello' to, wave, pat and kiss.
Since then we told more of our friends, I've told my line manager and a few colleagues from work, and it is becoming more of a reality. I've been through some quite depressing days - I started taking Spatone thinking that the sheer exhaustion was adding to my bleak feelings, and the last week or so hasn't been so bad. We had a bbq for husband's birthday after our nephew's christening in the morning. It was a mad day. It rained, but was enjoyable, and those that came along seemed to enjoy it.
Yesterday I met up with a doula. She charges £150 as a trainee doula, has never attended a birth before but reckons she is over-qualified really with all her bach remedies and natural birthing etc. I think the visit posed more questions than it answered. The lady was nice enough, but I've got nagging doubts that she is right for us. Do we really need a doula anyway? Now that I'm more prepared, perhaps we can go it alone? Or is anyone better than having nobody? I've contacted another couple, but I suppose at the moment I'm thinking maybe we'll end up not having one and just preparing as best we can in other ways. Speaking of which, a pregnant mum from 'group' has asked me to join her at antenatal yoga, so I think I'm going to give that a go. She can also lend me a hypnobirthing CD which might be a good start.
Husband is now half-way to Glasgow for a leadership course. Elizabeth and I took him to the station this lunch-time and waved him off. Elizabeth loved seeing the train, and reckoned that Dad was ok 'sitting' on the train (even though I knew he wasn't as he didn't get a seat!). She can also do a good impression of a tearful me waving him off. I guess I've been focusing on the practicalities of him being away - that I have to bath and bed Elizabeth single-handedly. But when it came to it I realise that we are just never apart now, we are a team and have been since that 21st November day when I went into hospital, dealing with whatever came our way together. I suddenly feel very lost and alone, and quite silly as I know that in two days time he'll be back!!!
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